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  • Writer's pictureRebekka Darge

Three Key Things That I Learned In 1 Year Of Coaching

While I was randomly scrolling through LinkedIn today, I realised that it has been a year and countless wonderful hours spend with great clients, since I start my journey of becoming a certified coach. After a moment of “WOW, time is flying when you are doing something you actually love”, I thought this might be a good time to share some of the key learnings, that I have stumbles upon whilst on this wild rollercoaster.


All the below is applicable for clients & coaches alike. 😊


Self-awareness is key – what are your values, needs and limiting beliefs? Understanding who you are is the key. And as painfully obvious as that may sound… most people who come to coaching have been neglecting some parts of themselves for a while – mostly unintentionally. That often leads to the feeling of being stuck with no way out.


Let me ask you… When was the last time you really connected with yourself? It has been a while, eh?! Then maybe you should start by asking yourself some of the following questions:

  • What are my core values?

  • What do I need?

  • What do I enjoy?

  • What is holding me back?

When we start creating awareness about who we are and what is holding us back, we start (re-)connecting with ourselves and edge closer to pursuing what we need with a different focus. Once we create that awareness it becomes easier to stick to our goals because we understand what is driving us.


At the end it all comes down to what drives & fulfils you – as cliché as it may sounds… but living your values and striving for fulfilment is fuel for the soul.



Change takes time, willingness & effort


A coach can help you plant a seed, but you choose which one you need & tend to it to make it grow. A lot of people come to coaching in the hopes of completely transforming their lives within a few sessions or weeks. As much as I believe in the power of coaching and would never deny that there are astonishing results that can be achieved in a very short amount of time, I can say that to achieve lasting, sustainable change simply takes time. Also, please take your time finding the RIGHT coach for you. Trust and chemistry are key factors in your success (I will share my thoughts on the selection process in my next post).


Breaking habitual patterns, creating new ones, and working towards long-term success will not happen in just a few sessions. A small study published in 2009 even suggests that it may take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to change a habit. You would not expect your muscles to grow over night just because you went to the gym once or twice? The same applies to coaching. It is a continuous process and frankly, most of the transformation happens in-between sessions and long after the coach & client relationship ends.


And sorry to burst your bubble, but the success of coaching does not only depend on the level of skills that the coach brings to the table. It mostly depends on the willingness of the client to put in the work. Coaching is no magical fix. It can honestly at times be a painful process. But if the client is willing to accept and create awareness and change in their life the result can be truly beautiful.


Self-care is part of the deal and not (!) selfish Ever heard about “You can’t pour from an empty cup” or “Put your own oxygen mask on first”? That is all there is to it. Understanding and meeting our own needs makes us better equipped to deal with the things that life throws at us. Self-care is about replenishing your own resources (and… it is not taking away from someone else’s). If you skim on the self-care part, no matter what self-care might look like for you, you won’t be able to achieve your goals.


And whilst we live in a society that champions hustle culture, we need to acknowledge that we can only perform to the best of our ability when we are well rested and fuelled. So, take that nap, read that book, or go on that coffee date that you keep postponing. Your wellbeing is your responsibility. And it is no secret that nurturing our brains, bodies, and spirits can help us be more successful at whatever we put our minds to.


With love,

Rebekka



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